Silence: More Than Words
A great joy or fear-filled dread?
by the Rev. Brenda Buckwell, D. Min.
The house was quiet, so quite there was an eerie sense that something more filled the space. What could that be? Was something terrible about to happen? She felt the urge to pick up the telephone and call a friend to keep her company to drive this uneasy feeling away. She took a few deep breathes, steadied herself against the quiet stillness of the dark. The urge to pick up the phone slowly began to wane. She waited just a minute more, and then … it happened.
We are a culture that quickly becomes uneasy with silence. When there is a lull in the conversation, folks try to fill the void. When we find ourselves alone, the television or radio is often on as background noise.
I remember years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, I had been sitting alone in the rocker enjoying silent communion with my child, when a young woman came to door. Knocking, she urged me out of the silence and I rose to answer the door. When she finished her conversation she asked: “What are you doing? Just sitting here in silence? The T.V. isn’t on, the radio isn’t on.” She paused for a moment, thought and articulated with a shutter, “I could never do that. I hate silence. I have to have the T.V. on. When it gets quite I think to much, so I do anything I can to avoid silence.”
That was 25 years ago. This is now, however it seems to me that in twenty-five years the general population hasn’t become any easier with silence. What happens inside of you when you find yourself with time on your hands, no one around to talk to, or with nothing in particular to accomplish? Do you work hard at little things to keep busy? Does worry and anxiety creep into your thoughts? What happens within many of those coming to retreat and spiritual direction ministries that you offer when silence falls upon them during daily moments of life beyond the intentional time of spiritual direction?
Within the culture of the 21st century silence can become fear-filled dread. In other ways silence has been used as a weapon of destruction. Whenever one chooses not to speak to another or avoid topics of conversation because of the difficulty that may bring -the violence inflicted is as stark as swinging a punch and beginning a fight. The violence we inflict upon one another in the name of silence can deafen our hearts and cause fear to rise within relationship stretching them to a breaking point. Many in the US over the years have experienced the abuse and fears of silence either at the hands of others or imposed upon self as fear of one’s own inward thoughts and feeling rising in control.
Even when the noise is all around we can be deafened by silence, unhearing to the voice of God. Parker Palmer, author and educator in his book “A Hidden Wholeness” speaks about the blizzard of the world.1 In the whiteout of the noisy world with war, honking cars, blaring boom boxes, and manipulative experiences of dysfunctional relationship; it is difficult for many to find comfort with silence.
The urge to pick up the phone slowly began to wane. She waited just a minute more, took another deep breath steadying herself and then … it happened. She was over come with a sense of awe as she became aware of God’s prayer and presence filling the stillness within and around her.
Could the discipline of silence teach us new ways of being community? Practicing silence with others can be a great help in raising our comfort level with silence. Could the discipline of silent prayer shared in community break down the walls which divide us?
The first time I intentionally noticed the discipline of shared prayer in silence in the midst of community was during my training in spiritual direction at Mercy Center.2 At first I felt a bit awkward leaving ample room between myself and my classmates; in other settings comfort was found in sitting near others during worship. Yet through prayer and experience I quickly found that leaving room for each one to be alone with God while at the same time untied together in the silent communion of community and prayer was a great blessing. Mysteriously God knit our hearts together during that silence, drawing us into a holy communion that goes beyond words into the knowing heart of Incarnation. Each silent worship event deepened our appreciation for the others’ prayer. We became a new creation of community through these times of silence and the bonds of Christ Incarnate have held us together.
- How could we as spiritual directors and retreat leaders open even more space for comfortable communion with silence within community?
- How could we help shape congregations and United Methodist worship events beyond the cultural fear and apprehension of silence?
- What could happen among us and through us if each spiritual director and retreat leader sought for the remainder of this year to integrate the discipline of silence into the United Methodist Church as a corporate spiritual practice?
God longs for us to hear God’s voice beyond the blizzard of our world. Together may we experience the great joy of silence as God’s presence is know among us.
